Never giving up...

05^th May, 2012

It’s now the third day after Chris’s 2^nd chemo treatment (counting chemo day) & it appears, after each treatment, that things will always be different. 

The Dexamethasone that she takes for the following 2 days after her treatment didn’t have the same effect as last time, as there was no surge of energy this time. 

I recall Chris touching her face & saying that her skin didn’t even feel like her own & that she was getting this feeling of ants crawling up her neck. I just can’t believe that she has to go through feeling like a stranger in her own body. Chris’s naturally oily skin has started to become dry & the cuticles around her finger nails have gone all raggedy. So, I swiftly decided to dig out my paraffin wax machine & give her a paraffin manicure, anything to try to lift her spirits.

Man, this treatment really is a bittersweet one. The side effects of the chemo alone are like struggling with another illness but fortunately this treatment; along with its crappy side effects, is what kills the disease. So, we just have to take whatever strength of positivity we can from that.

Since the 2^nd treatment, Chris has had three consecutive nights of restless sleep where she woke up at around 4.00am. Chris was quite flat today, feeling nauseous with zero energy, so we hibernated just like two bears.

Chris doses off, from time to time, through the days that have past & I love listening to her soft breathing. It is so comforting & brings about a simple feeling of happiness & hope that these down days will soon pass.

We had some good friends drop by last night & they bought with them the most fabulous Lebanese sweets. We talked & laughed about life, ageing & the radical days of our youth. It’s so nice to be momentarily distracted & to feel a little normalcy. I’m so glad that Chris can still enjoy sweets, thank goodness for small mercies. 

My thoughts go out to everyone fighting this disease, so please do not read the above & think that you will go through any of this. Everybody is different. This is not an easy path, but surviving & beating this disease is paramount, so please never give up.