Chemotherapy round 8

26^th July, 2012

Up early, off to the hospital for the new PICC Line procedure (right arm instead of left). Thankfully, all went smoothly during that procedure.

Following that procedure, it was straight down to the cancer clinic for treatment. As usual, it’s time to say ‘bye bye’ to my baby, as she starts to drifts off from the toxic chemo treatment, it is a necessary evil & yes we have to continually remind ourselves that it works... & it kills cancer !

Susie came down & spent most of the day with us in the clinic. It’s always nice to have the added love & support around us.

I’ve attached a video, one of the four chemo treatments that Chris receives. This one is the ‘Red Devil’ slithering up into her PICC line, it is particularly nasty chemo med.

Also, Chris has started to lose patches of her hair. It’s mainly getting quite thin in areas. Currently, we are trying to decide whether it’s time to just shave it off or continue with attempts of pushing it together with hair products (in the scheme of things..not really a big deal).

Also they have added another anti nausea drug to Chris’s little bag of pills, it is called Emed so we are hoping it helps to ease the nausea that goes on for so many days after treatment.

We finally finished up around 3.00 pm after a 6 hour stint at the hospital, it’s always good to get out there, even though all the nurses are fantastic & humorous they do their best to keep Chris distracted from the awfulness of the treatment. We are all so lucky to have such great nursing staff, the nurses down at Crown Princess Mary’s really amazing people.

Unexpected Dramas

25th July, 2012

Today’s trip to the cancer clinic for chemo equaled another blocked PICC line episode.

On two separate occasions, while the nurse was trying to flush the PICC line clear, she was using so much force, that that heparin needle snapped from the line & splashed all over us and the nurse. All we could do was laugh. 

So, after sitting there for about 4 hours trying to get Chris prepped for treatment, the nurse finally gave up trying to access the PICC line.

They then called another senior nurse who attempted to flush & access the line, but her attempts were also futile. At that stage, we knew that treatment wasn’t going to happen. The senior nurse said that the amount of blockages & issues that Chris has had with the PICC line so far, was more than enough and that it was time to take it out completely, so they did.

We were told that a new PICC line could not be surgically put through today; therefore, we would need to come back tomorrow, for the new line, followed by chemo.

Good news today was the nurse removing the old PICC line.. WOW, this would be the first time Chris’s arm would be free...first time in 4 months that she wouldn’t have to cover it when she showers & worry about bumping it or anything. So this was an exciting moment & she would be PICC free for the night.

So, by the time we got home, we were so pleased that Chris was free of the PICC line and not dosed up on chemo, that we were both on such a high we decided we would have a little dance, right there in our tiny little lounge room. We haven’t practiced our rockabilly dancing for months *A- because of the PICC line & *B- Chris would normally be afflicted with nausea from the chemo treatment...

Anyway, we danced & it was sublime, we just really savoured the fact that Chris had another day feeling good as she didn’t have to receive treatment today; yes, she would tomorrow but tomorrow is another day that we would be dealt with then.

Appointment day with Dr Blood

18^th July, 2012

Chris asked the Dr about the change in treatment, to which he advised that the radiation specialist had decided that the original cancer sights to be treated were too large; therefore, there may be more long term harm in trying to conduct the radiation than good. So, they decided to avoid that as an option & extend the chemo instead (not minimizing possible long term effects of chemo). 

All we can do is trust in the Dr’s, but we do sometimes have our concerns as to how this will all end. We are guessing that once the treatment stops, a scan is done, if all shows clear, then you just keep going for more scans, every few months/years to continue the checking that there is no re-occurring cancers.

Chemo - Round 7

11 July, 2012

Things went smoothly today.. for the 1st time ever, Chris was called in early to start her treatment; we both laughed appreciating the small wins.

Susie popped into the clinic & we spent the time catching up & planning things to do on Chris’s 'good' weekends.

By the time I got Chris home from the clinic, the chemo had completely taken over & Chris just slept for the rest of the day.

This is such a horrible treatment..when she goes in for treatment, I think to myself 'goodbye (temporarily) my baby', because she is generally only back to her 'as best as she can be' self about 4 days prior to her next treatment. Then it’s treatment day again & I watch it take her away, again, for a good 8 to 9 days.  Then about 4 days prior to the next treatment, yay, she’s back, my gals back.. her eyes shine again & she has more energy & less nausea than the down days.

And honestly, with chemo, all we can do is remind ourselves that this is killing the cancer & that is the upside! So, we must keep that as our focus as we put another round behind us. Chris is on the count down now.. Hopefully, there are more cycles behind us, than in front...that is what we must stay focused on.

The in between moments

4th July 2012

At the last PICC clean/flush, Chris experienced what has now become the usual blockage issue. Chris spent most of last week popping in & out of hospital to get that sorted, which included the fantastic process of flushing the 'draino' mix through.

So, we are now (hopefully) just over half way through treatment & it seems like a world of time has passed since this all began.

This whole experience has had a profound effect on both of us. We have both battled the 'lows' of the hard days & done our best to lean against each other & see it through.

We regularly feel the 'highs' of the good days, days where people moving through life in a 'normal situation' might stop noticing..the warmth of the sun upon your face or the pure beauty in life’s smallest enchanting moments that just make you feel so glad to be alive & to have been able to share & appreciate that moment together.

Chris has been incredibly strong, beyond inspiring; her bravery is that of a bear, the way she quietly manages to keep putting one foot in front of the other through this difficult path. It really blows my mind the way Chris has just tackled everyday head on, she has weathered so many storms & still manages to give me her heart stopping smiles when I walk through the door.

I hear her conversations with people when they ask how she's doing, she minimises everything, plays down anything that she may really be going through.. But I will tell it as it is, just give her a little moment more when talking to her to allow her to really open up. Otherwise people just think 'Oh she’s fine, & look, she still has her hair!'. No, she’s not become bone thin..Chris wonders why she is the cancer patient that put on weight & kept her hair. Chris has said that she sometimes feels like an imposter when entering the cancer clinic for treatment. You gotta laugh. Gah I would freak out if she was wasting away to nothing..thank goodness!

Ah but I see it all, the complete exhaustion, the daily pain, the change in taste, constant foot cramps, numb finger tips, hear the multitude of medicine reminder alarms going off throughout the day, blood thinning needles she has to stick in her stomach, twice a day (her stomach is absolutely covered in bruises..I can hardly watch her inject). The anxiety that builds & brings sleepless nights days prior to the next chemo treatment. But Chris just continues to march into the clinic & have a laugh with the nurses when she is about to go under for days again with the sickness that the chemo brings about... she really is a trooper.

The minimal social life/interaction, coupled with no work/purpose can send anyone nuts but Chris seems to keep herself in check, though there have been so many days that I could see the extreme sadness creeping in.

I’m not shy to say what really goes on, so yeah I will tell it how it is….

But the chemo is working, as harsh as the treatment is, it works..thank God. It is also bringing Chris closer to being cancer free! YEAH!

We are seeing Dr Blood on 18th July & we have a barrage of questions for him, how much longer, why did he decide to remove the radiation from the treatment, will there be more scans so we can know it has all been completely eradicated at the final treatment.

We are honestly so thrilled to know we are on the upward spiral. We are counting down to life being given back to us completely. Here’s to being cancer free, PICC line removed & bottles of medicine thrown out.. Here's to life's exciting new plans coming into fruition.

I love you my baby, you are forever my hero… Xx