Appointment day with Dr Blood

18^th July, 2012

Chris asked the Dr about the change in treatment, to which he advised that the radiation specialist had decided that the original cancer sights to be treated were too large; therefore, there may be more long term harm in trying to conduct the radiation than good. So, they decided to avoid that as an option & extend the chemo instead (not minimizing possible long term effects of chemo). 

All we can do is trust in the Dr’s, but we do sometimes have our concerns as to how this will all end. We are guessing that once the treatment stops, a scan is done, if all shows clear, then you just keep going for more scans, every few months/years to continue the checking that there is no re-occurring cancers.

Chemo - Round 7

11 July, 2012

Things went smoothly today.. for the 1st time ever, Chris was called in early to start her treatment; we both laughed appreciating the small wins.

Susie popped into the clinic & we spent the time catching up & planning things to do on Chris’s 'good' weekends.

By the time I got Chris home from the clinic, the chemo had completely taken over & Chris just slept for the rest of the day.

This is such a horrible treatment..when she goes in for treatment, I think to myself 'goodbye (temporarily) my baby', because she is generally only back to her 'as best as she can be' self about 4 days prior to her next treatment. Then it’s treatment day again & I watch it take her away, again, for a good 8 to 9 days.  Then about 4 days prior to the next treatment, yay, she’s back, my gals back.. her eyes shine again & she has more energy & less nausea than the down days.

And honestly, with chemo, all we can do is remind ourselves that this is killing the cancer & that is the upside! So, we must keep that as our focus as we put another round behind us. Chris is on the count down now.. Hopefully, there are more cycles behind us, than in front...that is what we must stay focused on.

The in between moments

4th July 2012

At the last PICC clean/flush, Chris experienced what has now become the usual blockage issue. Chris spent most of last week popping in & out of hospital to get that sorted, which included the fantastic process of flushing the 'draino' mix through.

So, we are now (hopefully) just over half way through treatment & it seems like a world of time has passed since this all began.

This whole experience has had a profound effect on both of us. We have both battled the 'lows' of the hard days & done our best to lean against each other & see it through.

We regularly feel the 'highs' of the good days, days where people moving through life in a 'normal situation' might stop noticing..the warmth of the sun upon your face or the pure beauty in life’s smallest enchanting moments that just make you feel so glad to be alive & to have been able to share & appreciate that moment together.

Chris has been incredibly strong, beyond inspiring; her bravery is that of a bear, the way she quietly manages to keep putting one foot in front of the other through this difficult path. It really blows my mind the way Chris has just tackled everyday head on, she has weathered so many storms & still manages to give me her heart stopping smiles when I walk through the door.

I hear her conversations with people when they ask how she's doing, she minimises everything, plays down anything that she may really be going through.. But I will tell it as it is, just give her a little moment more when talking to her to allow her to really open up. Otherwise people just think 'Oh she’s fine, & look, she still has her hair!'. No, she’s not become bone thin..Chris wonders why she is the cancer patient that put on weight & kept her hair. Chris has said that she sometimes feels like an imposter when entering the cancer clinic for treatment. You gotta laugh. Gah I would freak out if she was wasting away to nothing..thank goodness!

Ah but I see it all, the complete exhaustion, the daily pain, the change in taste, constant foot cramps, numb finger tips, hear the multitude of medicine reminder alarms going off throughout the day, blood thinning needles she has to stick in her stomach, twice a day (her stomach is absolutely covered in bruises..I can hardly watch her inject). The anxiety that builds & brings sleepless nights days prior to the next chemo treatment. But Chris just continues to march into the clinic & have a laugh with the nurses when she is about to go under for days again with the sickness that the chemo brings about... she really is a trooper.

The minimal social life/interaction, coupled with no work/purpose can send anyone nuts but Chris seems to keep herself in check, though there have been so many days that I could see the extreme sadness creeping in.

I’m not shy to say what really goes on, so yeah I will tell it how it is….

But the chemo is working, as harsh as the treatment is, it works..thank God. It is also bringing Chris closer to being cancer free! YEAH!

We are seeing Dr Blood on 18th July & we have a barrage of questions for him, how much longer, why did he decide to remove the radiation from the treatment, will there be more scans so we can know it has all been completely eradicated at the final treatment.

We are honestly so thrilled to know we are on the upward spiral. We are counting down to life being given back to us completely. Here’s to being cancer free, PICC line removed & bottles of medicine thrown out.. Here's to life's exciting new plans coming into fruition.

I love you my baby, you are forever my hero… Xx

Round Six Chemo......

27th June, 2012

 

Chris's PICC line has been giving her a lot of grief in the last few days. Her skin is reacting badly to the Elastoplast dressing which is covering the line. The dressing seems to be melting into her own skin & causing blisters. This area of skin has now been covered for the last four months. Just wear a band aid over the same spot, for four months & you'll see what I mean. There is not alot that the Nurses can do except to change the way the PICC line sits against her arm & use a different type of dressing. There really isn't much leeway for them to change the positioning but even the slightest change might offer her some relief.

Other than that, the chemo treatment goes in smoothly.. We look at each treatment, as another one over, with Chris getting that much closer to beating this!

Just another curve ball...Changes to Treatment.

19th June, 2012

Today, I arrived home, fresh out of hospital, after being away from Chris for days. I couldn't have been happier to see her face & to be back under the same roof again.

The last few days have been grueling,  having not been able to be together +the fact that it was a tough weekend for Chris, as it was her "bad" weekend, the weekend  after chemo treatment is always a hard one.

Chris's Mum came to care for Chris while I was away but she also ended up leaving after 1 night as she too felt as though she was coming down with a flu.

So, my poor baby was left on her own from Saturday through to Tuesday, so it really felt wonderful to finally be reunited!

Late that afternoon as we were both recovering on the lounge together, Chris received a call from Dr Blood.  He advised her that they have looked over the scans again & decided that she should continue her chemo treatment, right through to October & that they have decided to put a hold on the radiation portion of her treatment. Chris can't recall exactly what his reasons were, as she told me that she switches off when he talks to her due to the fear of having to hear something negative.

I was shocked with this news but Chris said, " well it's better the devil you know" having to now continue down the chemo path.

We are waiting for Chris's next appointment with Dr Blood, to ask why the treatment path has changed. We can only continue to remain positive & just try to tackle each day as it comes, but I got to tell you, it's been a shocking week & will be glad once it's behind us. 

Another Cancelled Holiday

15th June, 2012

We had planned a quick trip to QLD to just escape for two nights on Chris's off chemo week.  We were planning to leave for QLD on the 20th June.

I left work early today as I felt like I was coming down with the flu. I raced home & packed my bags as I had to stay away from Chris to not expose her to the risk of getting sick. I headed to my parents, in town & on Sunday 17th, landed in ICU at RPA hospitalized with acute asthma.

So, the QLD trip was cancelled, my breathing was way to weak to have been able to have travelled & as much as it was the last thing we both wanted, here we were having to cancel ANOTHER trip....at this stage, when things like this happen, it's really hard to see the upside & have to wonder WHY these things are happening. This trip was going to be our little get away from it all, a time to forget about sickness. Alas I don’t know wtf is going on but C'est la vie!

 

Fifth Chemo.....

13th June, 2012

Another chemo treatment down..Everything went smoothly at that visit to the cancer clinic. Not much to report here other than the usual..